i dont know if i should continue to blog here.. it takes such a long time to load into blogspot. and xanga is totally different.. i got in like in a click or two... is there any other better blog space? definitely not friendster please. hehe.
ive been rotting at home lately. to be exact, it started yesterday. didnt have any plans. been out for movies last week. can you imagine watching 4 movies in the cinema in a week? gosh, i really dont want to spend my holidays like that. but what else can i do? besides, reading some novels, going to yoga classes, meetings at night. what should i do in the noon? thought of getting a part time job, but im left like only 3 weeks to the commencement of my training. sigh..
the 3rd floor will collapse soon! my maid was saying there is so many tiny small debrises when she sweep the 3rd floor. so my mum asked me to check what happen. when i start walking on the tiles, at some point i could feel myself sinking a little, like 1-2mm.. that was really scary.. and there is this whole stretch of tiles are broken, there is a noticeable rift between the whole row... the tiles are all halfly floated, creating a small pyramid in between.. well, we'll just see what will happen next.. hehe
had a dialogue cum discussion with mj and ww yesterday night, as a replacement for last friday's Soka Women Spirit meet that both mj and i missed. we talked about our background, our family, problems that we are facing now, so on and so forth. ww was trying really hard to dig on me about my choir issue with my pic, hehe, but i keep on putting barriers and was were reluctant to talk about it. i dont think its a need to defame someone like that. hehe. talking about defamation again. really trying my best to not defame someone. sometimes its better to put my unsaticfactory or unhappy stuff about someone just to myself.. there are just too much trouble and misunderstandings if things like that are reveal.. so the question here is to be honest or not? *ambivalent*
also yesterday night, while i was at megah having supper with my dad, we talked about my future plan for education. let's skip all the discussion part. in conclusion, he said that just go on with whatever i want, he will support. very nice to hear that from him. but getting approval from my dad is simple, my next problem is to make decision which university to pursue and what course to major in. that two is a bigger question that is should be asking myself now. i can firmly say that im still unsure about where i want to go and what i want to do.
i just realize that im having many friendship problems lately. and most of these friends are friends that ive known more than 4 years. i really dont know the problem is with me or what. but as i got to know a person much deeper, i found out more things that i cant tolerate than things that i can tolerate. and what im talking here is about attitude and character. and when that perception has been made, it's really hard to not think about it whenever im with that person. and the worst part is that, im starting to showing gestures that i dislike them. i really dont want that, but its out of control. its like my mind is telling me not to do it, be patient, but physically and verbally im doing it. it's so contrdicting with what i have in mind. guess human revolution is really not that easy. it takes years to change. working hard on it. tough.
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